When You’re Feeling Lonely After a Breakup
If you’re feeling lonely after a breakup, you are (ironically) not alone. Loneliness is one of the most common emotions to navigate after a breakup, and it’s also one of the most challenging. Even if the relationship wasn't serving you, and even if you're on a journey of self-discovery (taking responsibility where you can, seeing your part, trusting the timing of it all, looking for the lessons, etc.), the feeling of being alone can be overwhelming at times. And understandably so! Companionship and connection are essential to our well-being as humans, and loneliness can make it feel like your world has gotten smaller.
But here's the truth: loneliness after a breakup doesn’t mean you're broken or destined to remain stuck. It’s a momentary feeling that can be transformed, especially when you take the right steps to heal and reconnect with yourself. If you're feeling lonely, know that you're not alone in your experience, and there are ways to ease the pain and move forward with empowerment.
Loneliness after a breakup doesn’t mean you're broken or destined to remain stuck.
So how do you navigate the feeling of loneliness after a breakup? Let’s break it down into seven steps:
Acknowledge Your Emotions
If you’re familiar with the stages of grief, you may think this is backwards, but the first step in dealing with loneliness is accepting it. It’s okay to feel sad, isolated, angry, or even abandoned after a breakup. These feelings are part of the human experience. Pain is part of the human experience.
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment. Loneliness is a natural response to the loss of companionship, and suppressing it only prolongs the healing process. Acknowledge your emotions, and allow yourself to grieve—this is the first step toward healing.
Reconnect with Yourself
Ok, this one is probably my favorite step because of how much I have learned to LOVE myself through breakups. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with who you are outside of the partnership. After a breakup, you have the opportunity to not just rediscover the person you were before, but to recreate who you want to be.
Take this time to do things that bring you joy and make you feel alive. Spend time with yourself—whether it's reading, hiking, painting, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in silence. When you reconnect with your passions and hobbies, you'll find that your inner world becomes a place of comfort.
Lean on Your Support System
Loneliness may be screaming at you to isolate, but this is when leaning on your support system is more important than ever. Reach out to friends, family members, or even a mentor who can provide comfort, a listening ear, or some much-needed perspective. Hire a coach or therapist who can walk you through this chapter.
Being around people who care about you reminds you that you’re not alone, and they can help you see the bigger picture—one where you are loved, valued, and worthy of everything you desire (including a healthy, loving relationship).
Practice Self-Care
When you’re lonely, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy habits like overindulging in social media, unhealthy food, or negative thinking. While some of these things can be helpful in small doses (I’m going to treat myself to this croissant for breakfast), if you are unconsciously numbing out, you don’t actually give yourself a chance to heal (because we heal by FEELING it all).
Instead, use this time to nurture yourself. Prioritize self-care practices that soothe your mind, body, and soul. Whether it's a long bath, journaling, or yoga, find ways to care for yourself that promote healing and positivity. The more you take care of your emotional and physical well-being, the less power loneliness will have over you.
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Loneliness can sometimes trigger negative self-talk, making you feel unworthy or unlovable, and pulling you further away from your sparkly self. When this happens, challenge those thoughts. Remind yourself that you are enough, even on your own. You are a complete person deserving of love, and your worth is not dependent on another person’s presence in your life. Embrace affirmations and positive self-talk as tools to combat the negativity that loneliness might bring.
Try jotting down affirmations on post-its and putting them in places where you will see them regularly, or creating a cute graphic to use as your phone wallpaper. The key is to keep these affirmations top of mind!
Take Time for Reflection
Breakups offer the opportunity to reflect on what worked and what didn’t in the relationship. Use this time to learn more about yourself and what you truly need in a partnership. Journaling can help clarify your feelings and insights, making it easier to grow from this experience. As you process the breakup, you may begin to see how the loneliness you feel now is creating space for a future filled with stronger self-love and healthier relationships.
Connect with Future YOU
Finally, remember that loneliness is a temporary state. It’s not permanent, and it doesn’t define your future. The loneliness you feel now is clearing space for new opportunities, growth, and more meaningful connections. As you continue to heal and grow, the future will bring new people, experiences, and possibilities that align with the best, most sparkliest version of yourself.
A breakup might leave you feeling lonely, but it’s also an invitation to embrace your own company and create a life that is rich with self-love, empowerment, and joy. Trust that you have everything you need within you to fill the space left behind and step into the next chapter of your life with confidence.
FREE COURSE
Want some more support? I’ve got a free course! Sign up for MEND: The 7-Day Email Course for Heartbreak Healing.