Start a Breakup Journal
If I could write a prescription for your broken heart, I’d write this: journal daily.
On days when you can’t even get out of bed, journal.
On days when you feel ok for a while, journal.
On days when you’re lit up and ready to date again, journal.
No matter what kind of support system you have available to you, open your journal and write for a set time every single day (I do 10 minutes). Just write.
Journaling is like breakup medicine. I love it for two reasons:
It helps you process your breakup.
Heartache is layered. When we peel off one layer, there are many, many more underneath it, ones we aren’t even aware exist. That’s why we burst into tears for no particular reason. Or seeing a particular car triggers a fit of laughter. Or we remember a fight and suddenly feel rage firing through our body. Those brief bursts of emotion are layers that we’re shedding.
You’re holding on to quite a burden, my friend. You’re carrying around all those layers of emotion every single day-- to the grocery store, to social events, even to dates. Journaling is a way of pruning, allowing you to gently release that burden, one layer at a time.
You’re creating a snapshot of your journey.
Healing from a breakup is not an overnight process. It’s tiny steps of progress, one day at a time. So it’s really easy to forget where you were six months ago, two months ago, even a week ago. It’s easy to forget how strong you really are.
Journaling is a chance to capture your feelings in the moment they’re happening, like a snapshot. When you’ve healed (or even when you’re having a particularly hard day), you can look back on this time in your life and reflect on how far you’ve come. Remember that you survived this. And you can make it through anything.
How do I start a breakup journal?
It’s as easy as picking up a notebook and writing. But I have a few pointers for making the process enjoyable, dare I say even pleasurable. Here’s how to start your breakup journal:
Go analog.
Sure, you could choose to type your thoughts up in a Google doc or a digital notepad. But there’s something incredibly therapeutic and cathartic about the physical act of putting pen to paper. If you’re like me, you probably spend most of your day looking at screens, so take a break from screen time when you’re journaling. The movement of writing will allow you to drop into a different mindset and tap into your truth.
The notebook matters!
Treat yourself to a notebook that you absolutely love. You are going to be spending a lot of time with this journal, and you are going to share some of your most vulnerable truths with it. Choose a journal that’s worthy of carrying those thoughts.
Writing utensils matter, too.
Do you really want to pour your heart out through a cheap bic that keeps clogging up every two minutes? I love a pen that writes in smooth, black ink, one that I barely have to touch to the paper. For me, a great pen exponentially increases the pleasure of my journaling. It just feels so good!
Safety is key.
The more honest you can be in your journal, the better it works! So it’s really important to feel a sense of safety in this process. Treat this journal like your most prized possession, as it will be the bearer of some really raw secrets. Keep it in a place where you know your thoughts are safe and your privacy will not be violated.
Write daily.
Set a timer for 10 minutes (or your time of choice), and just go. Let pen touch paper, and go with it.
Don’t judge your writing.
This is important. You don’t need to edit as you write. This is stream-of-consciousness writing. Most of my journaling makes zero sense. Every once in a while, I’ll scribble down a nugget of pure gold. But it’s surrounded by lots of nonsense. And that’s ok.
So…what do I write about?
I’m giving you permission to just write, with no goal or purpose. Some days, that may be enough. Other days, you may want a prompt to get you started.
Read this post on 10 breakup journal prompts or grab my free PDF download of 50 breakup prompts to heal your broken heart.
